How To Be Totally Miserable Forever


There is a secret to being totally miserable forever, and it’s as simple as this: resist everything.

To be totally miserable forever, all of life’s surprises should be met with extreme contention and opposition. All intense and seemingly unfavorable emotions should be immediately denied, repressed, and escaped from. When change wants to happen, fight it with all you’ve got. And, At all costs, avoid facing this moment for exactly what it is.

In short, resistance is a first-class ticket straight up shit creek, without paddle.

Here’s why: we’re meant to flow downstream with ease, flexibility, and lightness. Resistance creates a tightness and rigidity in body, mind, and soul, and eats up precious energy, that when cleared away creates space for the new and wanted.

Here are some reasons living a life of resistance is the pits, and some ways to move past it:

1) Hey man, nice disguise.

Resistance is often fear in disguise – we so often resist the things that make us the most uncomfortable. Of course, none of us is really wanting to be totally miserable forever; we all naturally crave joy and happiness. Therefore, we will all do our best to fight off circumstances that are seemingly threatening to our well-being.  But the good news: once fear can be acknowledged for what it is, we can begin to move past it, and on to bigger and better things.

2) What we resist ultimately persists, and what we accept changes.

It’s no secret that our thoughts are capable of changing the world around us – we are incredibly powerful beings. When we find something to be uncomfortable, and try to push it away, we tend to get more of it. Pushing things away adds more energy to them, and keeps them hanging around (since your energy and attention is on what’s not wanted). In order to move from a place that feels disagreeable and into a place that feels better, avoid resisting anything, and flow toward a better feeling place.

The real secret: don’t push against anything.

Facing things for what they are, with a sense of equanimity, provides us with the strength to begin improving the situation. Denial and resistance amplify whatever it is we’re resisting; when we head straight into the eye of the storm without turning away, the energy begins to dissolve.

3) Resistance puts us in an unconscious state.

Denying anything that is occurring in the present moment leaves us in an unconscious state. Consciousness (ultimate awareness) resides right here in the moment when we’re actively engaged with life. For instance, when an emotion arises (even one that may feel highly uncomfortable), being fully conscious would mean allowing that emotion to exist as it is in the moment, without trying to fight it. Sitting with the emotion and allowing ourselves to really feel it, without pushing it away, ultimately lessens its power.

4) Change deserves a bear-hug.

The resistance to change comes from fear of the unknown, as well as the love of comfort. Ultimately, when we’re ready and willing to let go of who we are, and allow ourselves to be reinvented, we might find that we become wiser, stronger, and overall better human beings.

Life itself is fluid, and asks that we be loose and flexible to flow along with it. There is power in recreation, and in allowing change to permeate our lives.  Maybe Lao Tzu said it best:

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

There is, however, an up-side to this resistance business, and that’s that when we become aware of our resistance, we can then begin to recognize what it’s telling us. Resistance often points us in the direction of areas in our lives that need the most attention. Resistance, when acknowledged, can be used to totally revamp our lives – we can begin to ease into the flow of life and beginning dismantling the walls of resistance bit by bit.

Here’s my best advice: take some time to do a little bit of self-reflection. Mediation is a great way to go, too, if you’re feeling up for it. Recognize areas of your life that may be stunted by resistant thoughts and action. Then, do your best to stay rooted in the present moment; whatever it’s containing is valuable and deserving of our full awareness. Full acceptance of the moment gives us strength and power to make the most of the next moment, and create for ourselves a better world.

Here’s to releasing resistance to life, and flowing a little more into the ease and the joy (saying a very emphatic good-bye to being totally miserable forever.)

Full-acceptance, here we come.



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